How to ACTUALLY Set Achievable Goals You'd Love!
on the blog!
Hi I'm Shazie, a mindset + self-love coach ♥ I'm a West Coast-turned-East Coast girl, so naturally I'm conflicted between Dunkin vs Starbs. Thank you for stopping by, and I hope you stick around♥
5 Tips on Setting Boundaries (& Why It's Important!)
Now that the holidays are over and the new year has begun, it just seems fitting to celebrate my birthday right? (January 7th for those who may need a little reminder :D)
I cannot believe I am turning 27. It’s crazy. I would think that at 27, I would have a perfect career by now, maybe even married but truth be told, I’m NOWHERE near.
And I don’t feel too bad about it.
The old me would be crying over how my “goals weren’t met.” Boohoo, I used to cry over my ochem/biochem grades, meaningless relationships, and toxic friends. I used to put others before me.
I used to NOT love me; instead, I loved others as a trade-off.
We learn about the Pythagorean Theorem or the quadratic formula in school. Maybe we were even lucky enough to conduct cool experiments in science class. What they don’t teach you is how to SURVIVE in the real world. For crying out loud, knowing how to solve for the area under the curve isn’t going to teach you how to be the best person you can be.
Wait, let me backtrack. I am not discounting the science/math classes we took. I’m merely speaking for the lack of real-world lessons in the classroom. It’s like, congrats you’re off to experience real life.
What they didn’t tell you is that life after college will teach you more to life than your major itself.
MY early 20’s were stressful. I was working 20+ hours/week at Victoria’s Secret as a full-time student on my way to pharmacy school. Left VS for a pharmacy job in hopes of it amplifying my pharm school app. I’ve dealt with numerous lazy lab partners where I had to overcompensate on top of the heavy workload I already had.
On top of that, I was dating dumb boys who broke my heart left and right. I was juggling way too many hats and was confused over my identity.
I let others define it for me.
I would’ve thought that by 27, I would be a successful pharmacist, married on my way to having my first child until I realized that these expectations were not realistic. We model our expectations from what we see in the media or what we observe within our close circle, but we tend to forget the setting these goals were made.
We live in a time now full of ambition and passion projects. No longer are we working to live the dreams others had for us. No longer are we tolerating the BS that accompany some people we cross paths with.
In retrospect, I have NO idea how I got through it all. Sure, I didn’t make it to pharmacy school but it was only bc my grades prompted me to reflect on my life and truly think about whether this was the right choice for me. Sure, I’m no longer dating the same guy from back then, but now I’m secure in my current relationship.
But wait, why do I have to explain myself? Is there truly a need to defend myself against my past?
I’ve reached a comfortable point in my life where I know that wherever I’m at in life right now is where I’m meant to be. I am more secure with MYSELF and am willing to put my foot down if need be. Enough with the BS comparison with other people. Social media has made it difficult to focus on your own lane, but surely we can change that? Surely we can commit to letting go of societal norms and focus on what WE want, how WE want to live without caring about the outside perspective?
I know it’s easier said than done.
Trust me, I’ve lived 20+ years trying to build my own backbone, aiming to please others and disregarding my own personal needs. Many years of trial and error later, I’ve come to learn that life is so short. Why spend it worrying about others and their perception of you? I honestly get it though, society can be brutal. Look at the stigma that still CONTINUE to exist surrounding issues that were considered taboo back in the day.
The truth is, if we let society design our future, we’ll never get anywhere. The world isn’t always going to be your best friend, so you might as well do what you love.
This is undeniably one of the most cliche things I’ve ever written, but it’s something so relatable and I wanted to share some positive reinforcement if needed.
You don’t always need to plan everything out. Yes, it’s advisable to at least know where you’re headed, but you don’t always have to follow the map. You CAN guide yourself and it’s okay to experience detours. Everyone’s paths are SO different. We’re all meant for different things at different points of our lives. Some of us are meant to be entrepreneurs while others are meant to pursue higher education. Some of us are meant to be married while others are meant to live life single and LOVING it.
Point is, we all want different things, so why do we sit here, scroll mindlessly, and expect our lives to mirror someone else’s?
Someone completely different from us with a different background, different interests, different goals? We can all share the same vision, but we don’t have the same set of eyes. How we view things don’t always have to be accepted by the people around us, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less.
Not everyone WANTS to have babies. Not everyone WANTS to get married now… or ever. Not everyone WANTS to pursue cookie-cutter societal things. What is up with the expectation to follow some timeline that rooted way back when?
We sometimes impose these questions on others and while not with the intent of hurting others, we mildly exude some ignorance when assuming their lives are projected to be yours, somehow.
So I say enough.
Enough with the “what’s next” questions. Enough with the “when are you getting married” or “when are you having children” probes. Just enough. Normal and structured seem boring anyway.
Thank you to all the people I’ve come in contact with building up to this moment. Most of them may not be in my life today, but it’s okay bc I learned that outgrowing people doesn’t have to be such a negative thing.
So what’s my verdict at 27?
I’m not a successful pharmacist, but I’m a few months shy of graduating with my Master’s. I’m not married, but at least I know who I am… and the person I’m with is pretty lucky to have me 😉 I’m not rich, but I’m passionate right now pursuing things I love like blogging and creating content to inspire others to be their best selves. You are your own responsibility; it is up to you to create the life you love.
I may have steered off course, but this detour is looking a lot better than the previous road I paved myself.
I’m perfectly okay where I am at, and you should be too.
Cheering you on, always.