How to ACTUALLY Set Achievable Goals You'd Love!
on the blog!
Hi I'm Shazie, a mindset + self-love coach ♥ I'm a West Coast-turned-East Coast girl, so naturally I'm conflicted between Dunkin vs Starbs. Thank you for stopping by, and I hope you stick around♥
5 Tips on Setting Boundaries (& Why It's Important!)
We’re busy, ambitious… and single. Nothing wrong with being single though. In fact, I love that we’re so independent and driven in life, but for the ones who ARE seeking a significant other just to have someone to talk to, go on dates with, etc, where do we expect to find such people? In between driving to/from school, work, internship, gym,
social activities… who am I kidding? Like many, social activities are often limited due to the overwhelming schedules we force upon ourselves. So, how do we expect to date and how do we REALLY expect to find Mr/Mrs. Right Now?
Now, I am very aware of the negative connotation that is often tied to the term, but honestly, dating apps are the NEW social platform. It’s essentially tantamount to good ol’ speed dating mixers minus the awkwardness. I mean, answer this – are meeting people at bars honestly “better” than meeting someone on a dating app? And what makes classic Match.com any different? I’m over that stigma and plan on addressing any concerns here in this post –
Why am I a dating app advocate, you may ask? Dating apps give you an opportunity to explore your options, read a little about them, see if you connect, check for mutual connections, get out of your comfort zone, etc. You can’t really do that with someone you’re meeting/hearing about for the first time at the bar. No, I’m not saying that meeting people at bars is such a horrid idea, but relative to dating apps, I think I’ll give these apps a shot. Don’t know where to start?
Tinder… Probably known to be the most sexual-initiated app amongst all apps.
My thoughts? I met two of my closest friends on there. It’s really all about how you play your cards. Yeah, you get douche-y messages every now and then, but for the most part, people are just looking for something to fill up their time. It’s entertainment in a way, and while that can be a little confusing, at least you know you and Person X are two busy individuals within close proximity seeking the right person to confide in/have a good time with… AND you both swiped right on each other meaning you already have a mutual attraction. Whatever that good time entails is a different story, but just remember things are usually mutual once the conversation starts, but once it is up and rolling, it’s up to the both of you to decide if it’s worth the investment or simply just lust.
Don’t even get me started on this app. ONE thing I do somewhat appreciate though is the in-depth questionnaire they have you doing for your profile (pretty much a more detailed version of OkCupid!). Factors from height, weight, body type, marital status, desire to have children, favorite quotes, etc are all asked and displayed on your account. You can even see who’s online (think MySpace) and almost feels like school again, but hey, at least you know if Future Person X is on the same page as you.
However, this has to be one of the most “people-dense” app I’ve ever experienced. You know that cliché, “There are plenty of fish in the sea,”… this is LITERALLY true. Never have I been swamped with messages from people at 100mph (-_-). I won’t lie – I’ve met a few close friends on there, so it’s really not all that bad. This app varies from Tinder though because ANYONE can contact you. You don’t have to have a mutual attraction, so even if you aren’t into older men who are members of the country club and have their own yachts for leisure, they can still contact you since that’s what POF allows. It’s up to you to enforce major filters and/or do a “cleanse” in your inbox to see which fish is worth the bait.
This app has recently gotten the latest buzz. I personally like Bumble because like Tinder, you both have to have a mutual attraction, BUT the woman has to initiate the convo AND do it within 24 hours before you lose the connection. For the most part, I would throw my basic “hello” and “cute dog” messages, and it worked nonetheless. The interesting thing though is that Bumble seems to match you with “I moved from NY to LA to pursue modeling” type-people, so the demographics may not be as diverse as you’d want them to be. Needless to say though, it CAN be refreshing.
Alright alright, I can see why many may be overwhelmed by the realm of dating apps. I mean, I was for a little bit, but I managed to weed out the complications. Coffee Meets Bagel was a little too complicated for me. To my knowledge, you’re matched up with ONE “bagel” per day based on your profile, and you decide if you want to pursue him/her. Otherwise, you have to wait 24 hours for your next bagel to come along. I’m all for #TeamCarbs, but no thanks to the wait. I will give them credit for having such a cute marketable name though. #TeamCoffee
Next is SingleFit. I found out about them during an Yoga Expo in LA this past January. SingleFit is a very niche-y dating app. It attracts fitness/health enthusiasts using location and pairs them together, which I personally like, but because it’s still quite new, not many people were on there. I’m not sure about now, but hey, if you’re single and fit, why not give it a shot? It’ll be a refresher meeting up for a hike or a fitness class rather than the usual coffee 🙂
Don’t let anyone throw shade at you for wanting to try out these apps. I’m not saying to simply stay home and go on every single app, but if you aren’t meeting your potential Mr/Mrs. Right Now outside, then at least consider dating apps and see what they have to offer. Plus, we’re always on our phones anyway! Just practice safety precautions when using it and have fun with it! For the most part, everyone on those apps have the same intentions as you. Don’t sweat it.
Have you tried any of these apps? What were your experiences?