This month alone, I’ve had my share of disappointment and losses. I used to take them personal until I realized this is the inevitable part of life: the good, the bad, and the UGLY.

Letting go is tough. It wasn’t until recently where I adopted the mindset that some people just aren’t meant to STAY in your life. Remember the quote –

Some people come into your life for a reason, some a season, and some a lifetime.

I never understood what that meant. All along, I thought people came into your life… to stay. Period. I  mean, why wouldn’t they? I guess I was rather naive.

I used to CHASE friendships/relationships. When I saw some coming to an end, I felt responsible for saving the last bits and pieces of it. Letting go, to me at that time, meant giving up. And I didn’t want to accept that. I was always left wondering, was there anything else I could’ve done to make that friendship last?

And the sad thing is, I would be subconsciously FORCING it to work. In retrogress, that was pretty embarrassing. Feeling forlorn about certain situations paved the way for me to coerce something that was already done with. In my mind, my countless attempts at making it work were my way of showing that I was putting in the effort… regardless of whether it was being given.

Little did I realize that something of value and purpose should NOT have to be forced. It shouldn’t have to feel one-sided. (Can we toast to that please?)

How many times did my mind tell me that my actions were not being reciprocated… yet there I was listening to my heart because I did not want something to end? I didn’t know that was what was MEANT to happen. I didn’t want to throw in the towel so quickly. After all, chasing people only meant that I cared for them… right? Why else would I have LET something end without putting up a little bit of fight for it?

After a few encounters with many people, I learned that while some people aren’t meant to stay in your life forever, it doesn’t mean they didn’t serve any purpose. In fact, I’m an avid believer that every single person you cross paths with all play an instrumental role in discovering who YOU are, what you like, etc. They were all meant to be a part of your growth. Just like a book, each chapter contributed its two cents to the storyline.

We look around us, vow to stay connected forever, and then we grow apart. We see each other less and become more distant… but it’s totally okay. Change is the only constant in our lives. It is inevitable, and if someone is not heading in the same direction as you, it is okay to leave it behind. No matter how good or bad this encounter ended, it was only meant to teach you a little something about yourself.

25 years and counting, I’ve experienced many types of relationships so by now, I’ve established which ones are worth keeping and saving. Not all relationships are meant to be saved and not all are built to last.

No matter how hard you try, you simply cannot rekindle something that has already lost its light. Realize it is OKAY for something to end. Ending a friendship does not undermine the times we shared, and it most certainly does not negate all those times we laughed or cried together.

Because in that moment in time, we were exactly what we each needed. And for that I am forever grateful.