Why Bashing Is NOT Cool
So, I had originally wanted to write a typical Valentine’s Day lovey dovey post until I came across something much bigger.
I wanted to address a topic that has been on my radar for quite some time.
Recently, I’ve had people address my “attention-seeking” behavior on Instagram. While I do not usually shed light on the negative aspects of my life, I wanted to be 100% real and transparent with you especially since we ALL know life isn’t all glitter and unicorns (although I do love some unicorn vibes!)
Real sh*t here, I personally think “attention-seeking” is a little harsh. Confidence is often misconstrued with cockiness, and I think that’s the biggest issue here. Posting pictures of myself doesn’t mean I’m full of myself or that I like the attention. Honestly, it’s because well a) I have nothing else to post and b) I like my photos.
I mean, we all post pictures of ourselves. Sure I may do it slightly more than others, but it’s simply because I JUST LIKE TAKING PHOTOS.
I know I don’t HAVE to explain myself, but I want to.
I’m not perfect. I have feelings, and comments do sting sometimes.
I’m not addressing this issue because I’m hurt. I’m addressing this, so people will realize that it’s important to stay in their lanes and not try to be a dark cloud over other people’s rainbow.
Sorry there’s not much of a story here except PEOPLE TALK. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
The whole point of this post isn’t to victimize myself. It’s merely to spark a conversation. I want to inspire you to keep doing YOU because regardless of your good vibes mantra and positive aura, people are going to talk anyway… so might as well do what you love.
At first, those subtle comments really bothered me. I didn’t let them consume all of me, but I did begin reflecting on my own posts and even almost leading myself down the self-doubt road.
Then I realized – I hated not what the offline comments were doing to me, but what I was allowing myself to feel.
Situations can’t always be controlled, but how you react/respond is something that can be mastered in time.
I mean, I simply don’t see a point in people bringing up someone else’s posts if they don’t really pertain to you? I realize I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. In fact, no one is a one-size-fits-all. That’s the beauty of it. And I’m pretty sure as much as we all love cookies, we don’t want to be cookie cutter.
Yes, I get it. We live in a world where likes/comments boost our mood. It’s totally normal, but why put someone down just bc s/he feels confident? For all we know, this person could be going through one hell of a journey yet we take time out of our days to send negativity their way.
That’s what’s puzzling. The follow/unfollow button is there for a reason. We fixate on other people’s lives so much that it can get difficult not to feel a certain way about it, but just keep in mind that if someone’s feed doesn’t appeal to you anymore, you can simply opt out.
No name-calling BS needed.
This may not be a typical positive vibes post, and I know many will argue that I am bringing attention to negativity – but the truth is, we deal with negative things and I’m just trying to keep this platform completely real.
Social media is a highlight reel. And my Instagram posts are meant to inspire. In no way am I bragging or boasting about the jewels in my life. I’m human, I go through my struggles. I just choose to keep some of them private because I am still learning how to address them on my own. Until I do so, I will be for the most part sharing the ups of my life.
Quite frankly, it took me YEARS to get where I am today. I wasn’t always confident, and even to this day, I’m not 100% confident with myself. It’s a work in progress that gets road blocked with detours such as this one, but I still keep going. It wasn’t until recently when I started taking this relationship with myself much more seriously and began posting pictures of myself… with confidence.
Plus, this issue extends far beyond social media.
Sure, I still get nervous when I put myself out there, but over time I’ve gotten more at ease only because I’ve developed some “thick skin” now. I just choose to address this subtle bashing issue because who knows, maybe someone is going through this as well?
If you’re one to be nervous putting yourself out there afraid of the responses you might get, 1 100% feel you.
I still have my insecurities and in a way, social media has helped me with that. And it isn’t based on the number of likes, comments, and followers; it was actually via the friendships I’ve made online.
And while I’ve received so much positivity over the years, the negative ones still unveil themselves every now and then. I try to overlook them, but as reiterated before, sometimes I just have to let myself FEEL before picking myself up again.
To sum it all up, I’m not made for everybody and neither are you.
Who you are and what you stand for are your own personal gems; they belong to you and you alone. No one else should have that control over you to hinder you from moving forward or from “living your best life.”
So enough bashing. Period. Whether it’s self-bashing, bashing on others, etc. This is only a reflection on ourselves, so let’s pledge to embrace our differences and be nothing but our best selves – zero f*cks given.
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