Well it’s August, and here I am… still unpacked for a new life beginning at the end of the month. Currently, I’ve been taking my time assessing the situation and obviously trying not to panic since in less than a month, I’d adopt a new lifestyle in a new city.
Surreal, isn’t it? One day, I’m stressing out over the GRE and working my first post-college job and the next, I’m over here looking for one-way tickets to the east coast. ONE FREAKING WAY.
I’ve had some time to truly reflect on how I’m feeling and honestly, I don’t know. I’m excited for a new chapter ahead, yet – as expected – I am also nervous of the ambiguity. I mean, I should probably conquer this uncertainty and let it run its course… right?
It’s like I’ve waited all this time to move away from home for the first time… and of course, I really would choose to go 3000+ miles away (yes, I googled the distance). I mean, I’ve always been that “all or nothing” type of girl, so choosing to move out AND across the country is something very ME.
Why did I decide on Boston?
Well truth be told, I’ve always wanted to venture out to the east coast and thought that grad school might help seize that opportunity. Public health schools on the east coast are also AMAZING, and I knew I wanted to gain valuable experience in a hub full of non-governmental organizations (NGOs), hospitals, and of course, “easy” access to surrounding cities and states.
My past trips to Boston, New York, and D.C. also collectively contributed to my love for the east. (Plus, hello – where my Patriots fans at?!). There is something about the east coast hustle that I fell in love with. Now, tbh I was TORN between NY and Boston. I had to put my big girl hat on and examine my pros and cons list to determine which choice was BEST fit for me.
So why now?
Because it was time for grad school.
JK all jokes aside, I chose now because I felt it in my gut that it was finally time to spread my wings and fly. I know I waited until 25 to make the big move, but contrary to society’s norms, I am a huge believer in staying in your own lane, making changes on your own terms, and not letting other people’s lives serve as the “standard” to compare yours to.
If you’re ready to venture out at 18, do it. I just didn’t feel ready, and I don’t think I wanted to feel ready either – if that makes sense.
Waiting until 25 helped me grow and evolve into an adult accommodating to the twenty-something life. All those trials and tribulations that I’ve had to go through in my early twenties have shaped me and my readiness for a home away from home.
This planning process has also unveiled skills I never knew I had in addition to the skills I knew I HAD to adopt asap: cooking, cleaning, anything domestic pretty much. I’ll admit, I’ve been relying on my mom to prepare meals for me circa 1992. I’ve sometimes taken those meals for granted.
Coming home to food on the table has eliminated SO MUCH time and effort on my end. Because of her, I have more free time to work on things like my blog. I never really thought about her end (as selfish as it sounds) so this move is helping me paint the big picture: crafting my own independence and having to make mistakes on my own only to learn from them.
While the excitement can be overwhelming, I can’t help but feel a plethora of fears coming over me –
- What if I can’t afford rent?
- Is moving across the country really worth the investment?
- What if I freeze during the winter? (thank you California for prepping me well…)
- What if I get lonely?
- What if I’m in dire need of a friend after a rough day but have no one to turn to for an early morning yoga sesh?
- What if my MPH degree yields nothing but mountains of debt?
…and the list continues.
All those thoughts continue to make an appearance with each passing day, but with each fear comes something brave. I know that if I let myself be confined by these thoughts, I’d only be in perpetual misery.
So while those fears hover over me, I make the decision to CHOOSE to confront my fears with boldness and with an open mind.
Yes, it’ll take a huge toll on me not having my mom and sis by my side as they have been for the last 25 years, but as hard as this move will be, I know that this chapter of my life is something I’ve been dreaming of. Something I FEEL in my gut that this journey alone will be worth it.
Stepping out of your comfort zone and feeling uncomfortable is all part of growth. For anyone who’s out there contemplating making the big move near or far, know that you are NOT alone. The myriad of emotions will always be there… almost to a point where you might even feel numb to all of it, but it’s normal.
We all have to step outside ourselves sometimes to not only see where we’re meant to be BUT to also explore experiences on the way there. As I’m counting down the weeks till my big move, I’m still in awe that it is actually happening.
But above all, I am ecstatic about this new chapter. A chance to start over, to make some progress, to breathe in a fresh environment, and to work purposefully towards my personal and professional development.
May this move be bold led with curiousity with a sparkle of wonder.
Any tips for a first-timer like me making a big move? Any must-haves to pack? Till next time 🙂